Very important note: This entry is really long but reading it will surely bless your relationships. ;)
*This is Bo Sanchez' newest book. He launched it on his birthday, 11 July, at the Feast in PICC. I bought 2 copies, one for bh and me and the other one for my favorite cousin Jel and her husband Mark who are residing in London. I had the copies autographed by Bo, that was the second time I had the chance to come near him, the first time was 2 years ago (I think), I also had my book "8 Secrets of the Truly Rich" autographed by him. I wanted to buy as many copies but due to limited resources, I only bought 2. The book was sold on that day at a discounted price of P250. It will be available in bookstores for P300.
The subtitle of the book is "7 Steps to Renew, Bless and Heal Your Most Important Relationships." Written below are exactly copied from the book, these are chapter titles, quotes, bible passages and accounts by Bo Sanchez. For the version of this post with my "learning, realizations, discoveries and affirmations," I decided to keep it to myself and keep it unpublished. I strongly recommend that you read the book and discover for yourself how this book will bless you and your family.
Key 1: Renewal - You Must be Nourished with Love Every Day
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin
The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. - Mother Theresa
Life is relationships; the rest is just details. - Gary Smalley
Key 2: Gratitude - Stop Trying to Fix People
Honor one another above yourselves. - Romans 12:10
You're a Lover, Not a Repairman
Young women begin by believing they can change and reform the men they marry. They can't. - George Bernard Shaw
The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated. - William James
What You Like and What You Don't Like May Be One and the Same Thing
Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. - Doris Day
Two Levels of Acceptance: 1st: Tolerance 2nd: Appreciation
Are you a Judge or a Painter?
Love the Perfection of His Imperfections
What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. - Oprah Winfrey
Key 3: Time - Fight the Relationship Drift
There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing. - Brian Tracy
Let us not give up meeting together. - Hebrews 10:25Two people in a relationship are like two little boats floating on the sea.
Problem: There's a current that will slowly pull the two boats apart. Before they know it, the two boats are miles away from each other. Friend, there's really only one way to fight the drift: Paddle!
If you don't want to drift, you'll have to go against the flow and paddle your way to each other. You'll have to work hard, muscle your way, sweat like crazy and fight to be together. I believe that the only antidote to Relationship Drift is to bond constantly. If you don't, the effects can be disastrous...
Time Management vs. Biggies Management
Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo
What are your Biggies?
Your biggies consist of the four most important parts of your life:
* Your family
* Your health
* Your mission
* Your spirit
Create a List of Untouchables
Two Choices: Drift or Paddle
You either drift or you paddle. You either pay now or pay later. Start paddling!
Key 4: Service - Make Your Love Genuine
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Use your gift to serve one another. 1 Peter 4:10
Love is About Dirty Hands, Not Just Beating Hearts
Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day. - Barbara De Angelis
Get the Genuine Article
Do I love you because you are beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you? - Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella
Your Physiology Affects your Psychology
Your feeling follows your action.
If we keep on doing acts of love, we increase our feelings of love. The more we "dirty our hands," the more we find our "hearts beating" for the other. To make this practical, let me share seven simple ways of dirtying your hands. They are (1) Help, (2) Prayer, (3) Presence, (4) Touch, (5) Words, (6) Gifts and (7) Boundaries.
(1) Help
Love means giving practical help.
(2) Prayer
Love means praying for your loved ones.(3) Presence
Love means spending time together.
(4) Touch
Love means physical affection.
(5) Words
Love means verbal and written expressions.
(6) Gifts
Love means giving tokens - or symbols of love.
(7) Boundaries
Love means respecting the boundaries of the other.
Love is Service
Key 5: Forgiveness - The Only Thing that can Heal Your Emotional Wounds
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong. - Mohandas K. Gandhi
Love covers over all wrongs. - Proverbs 10:12
Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. - Luke 6:37
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. - Matthew 6:14-16
When You Forgive, You Bless Your Future
Stage One: Get Angry
Forgiveness is not a one-stage process.
It's two-stage process.
Stage one: Get angry.
Stage two: Release the anger.
If anger stays too long in your heart, your anger no longer heals but kills. When anger turns into bitterness, it's poison.
The Bible says, "The sun must not go down on your anger." (Ephesians 4:26)
I believe it. Except perhaps for severe wounds (like abuse, adultery, betrayal, etc.), I feel stage one should not last for more than a day. I'm talking about the regular hurts we encounter every day. Before nightfall, move on to stage two.
Stage Two: Release Anger
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash. - Joyce Brothers
In stage two, you decide to forgive. Key word: Decide. It's not about feeling but about willing. The feelings of anger can linger (that's normal) but the decision has already been made in your heart.
Remember, love is a decision, not just a feeling. If forgiveness is love, then forgiveness is a decision, too.
Forgiveness Heals the "Enemy"
Forgiveness Heals Everyone in your Life
Why You Need to Forgive
He, who angers you, conquers you. - Elizabeth Kenny
Key 6: Self-Love - Do You Want Happy Relationships? Love Yourself
Love your neighbor as yourself. - Matthew 22:39
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. - William Blake
You can only have happy relationships if you have happy self-love.
Your Heart Filled with Either Self-Love or Neediness
If we could learn to like ourselves, even a little, maybe our cruelties and angers might melt away. - John Steinbeck
I believe the only solution to neediness is self-love. If you learn to love yourself, you'll push out neediness from your heart.
The more you love yourself, the less neediness you have. The less you love yourself, the more neediness you have.
The Need to be Needed
Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from an enemy. - Proverbs 27:6
Neediness attracts neediness. A needy heart is naturally attracted to a needy heart. The reason is obvious. If you can't get love, might as well get its counterfeit: neediness. The only solution? Replace neediness with self-love. Because you can only have healthy relationships if you have a healthy self-love.
Five Ways of Filling your Heart with Self-Love
1. Believe in your own worthiness.
When you appreciate your worth, it'll be easier to appreciate the worth of others. And you'll find your relationships growing in love.
2. Fulfill your dreams.
Do yourself a big favor. First, know your dreams. Second, go and reach for your dreams. Why will this bless your relationships?
Because once you honor your dreams, you'll be able to honor the dreams of others, too. You'll encourage people in your life to grow.3. Care for your needs.
Write your own needs on a piece of paper. And see how you can honor them. This simple act will bless your relationships because you can now serve people's needs with a heart full of love, not neediness.
4. Relate with the right God.
Fix your picture of God.
When you change your image of God, your relationships with others will change by leaps and bounds because you become like the God that you worship. If you start worshipping a God of great compassion and love, you'll (slowly) be like Him, too.
5. Relate with the right people.
Remember: Needy people attract needy people. So be careful with the people who enter into your life.
So increase your time with people whose hearts aren't filled with neediness but love. When you surround yourself with the right people, you fill your heart with love, too. So look for mentors, teachers and coaches who can bless you.
Proverbs 13:20 says, "Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm."
Key 7: Celebration - Happy Relationships Throw More Parties
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge
Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey! - Barbara Hoffman
Love each other as I have loved you. - John 5:12
What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness. - Baruch Spinoza
Four Ways to Make Your Homes Happy
The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same. - Carlos Castaneda
1. Make the Family Meal a Party
Ban all sermons when you're around the table. Make every family meal a joyful occasion.
2. Hold a Family Night Each Week
I believe the weekly family night is a mini-party that you should never miss. Believe me, when you're old and grey(or old and bald), you'll look back at these times and thank God you had them!
3. Weekly Dates with Each Family Member
I date my wife each week.
I date my kids each week, too. The key is to make it fun.
I also date my mother every other week.
I have regular dates with my friends, too.
4. Annual Family Celebrations
Create your own family's "liturgical calendar."
Sit down and block off the most important dates of the year.
Mark off your wedding anniversary, Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day and Grandparent's Day.
Hey, if there's a reason to celebrate, throw a party!
Three Ingredients for Throwing Parties
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln
Ingredient #1: Be thankful
Here's the truth: Celebrating your relationships doesn't depend on having a bubbly or cheerful personality.
It depends on your depth of gratitude. How thankful are you? You throw a party because you're grateful to the person for being there in your life. If you believe that the people in your life are your greatest gifts from God, then you throw parties often to thank them. Even if we know it's a lot of hard work.Ingredient #2: Hard Work
But who said love isn't hard work? As I said before, love is about dirty hands, no just beating hearts.Ingredient #3: Creativity
Throwing parties requires some creativity. Do you want to be more creative? Copy. Get inspiration from other.
It's the secret of the greatest artists in the world.
I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not for only what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
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I hope just by reading this entry, you "learned" something... I strongly recommend this book, not only for married couples but also for single men and women.
Actually, this book is for all of us.
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